When Everyone Knows that Everyone Knows about Pain

Hey there👋🏻

I picked up an interesting book two weeks ago called When Everyone Knows that Everyone Knows. The core concept of the book boils down to something called common knowledge, which the author defines as:

When A knows that B knows, and B knows that A knows that B knows, and so on.

A good example is language. I’m writing this newsletter in English knowing my readers know English, and my readers know that I know they know how to read in English.

So that got me thinking

We talk about pain all the time, but pain is so unique. We know we can’t fully understand someone else’s pain because we don’t live in their body.

But how can we get closer to knowing how a patient feels, and how can the patient know we are trying to feel what they feel?

Something I’ve grown to appreciate more over time is making people feel heard. It isn’t the same as what we learned in school where we nod and smile and “listen.” There’s more to it. Here are a few things I’ve learned:

1. Grab a chair and sit down when you talk to a patient

2. When you see a frown or an apprehensive look, pause and explore the emotion

3. Paraphrase what the patient says to make sure both sides understand

4. Ask more questions and stay curious

Pick one and try it. Let me know if it changes the dynamic of the conversation.

See you next time,

SP