The Struggle of a Hairstylist

Hey there 👋🏻

I can be an introvert at times, and I’m not the best with small talk. Many of us dread the silence and feel the need to fill it with words, or just sound. And you know very well, when you're stuck getting a 20 minute haircut, sometimes you just have to entertain the small talk.

But last week was different.

Instead of getting asked the usual “How was your day?” I got curious about the behind the scenes of being a hairstylist. So I asked the question before the small talk even began:

“Can you tell me about the hardships that nobody even thinks of when it comes to being a hairstylist?”

Clients who are wishy washy about the style and how he manages it. Clients with matted hair that need a complete shave, and he still has to manage their emotions. Clients who don’t speak English, leading to all kinds of communication issues—yet he still has to remain professional.

That was the kind of conversation I was looking to have. Behind all the fashionable hairstyles are stories that nobody talks about, or even bothers to ask.

As a pain management pharmacist, we have our own flavor of struggles that not many people realize. One of the biggest ones I’ve come through (and am still working on) is navigating conflict. Conflicts in pain management can arise at any stage of the interaction:

• You didn’t do the homework, so the patient gets upset

• The medications don’t meet the patient’s expectations

• Patients feel judged or not heard

Last year, I came across a book called Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss. I absolutely adore the book and have re read it. There are two techniques I use in my practice every day, and I figured you might benefit from them too:

| Label the emotions

There are many micro expressions on a patient’s face if you pay close enough attention. A frown, the “googly eyes,” or even a shift in tone. Instead of keeping that observation to myself, I now name the emotion.

Think about it. The patient can’t read your mind, even if you sense their emotions and empathize silently. The most direct way to show you're listening is to say it out loud.

| Summarize the conversation

I rarely run into situations where patients say I’m not listening, especially when I summarize what they said. Summarizing is a great way to pause and check if you’re on the same page. And when you reflect their words back accurately, most patients are genuinely appreciative.

That book has so many other nuggets I think many of us clinicians could benefit from. And if reading isn’t your thing, try the audiobook. It completely changed my way of learning.

I hope you have a good week. Let me know what you think of the book if you end up reading, or listening to it.

See you next time.